Violence against the women

Abusers are cowards

Global statistics show that at least one of three women and girls is beaten or sexually abused in her lifetime. Obviously, "civilization" and "contemporary age" do not deserve those attributes since the male desire for self-esteem and feeding their ego by abusing weaker then themselves (mostly women and children) is very hard to exterminate


By LJILJANA SAMARDŽIĆ
from Sombor, SERBIA


The March 8th marks the International Women's Day as the memory of the day when women got their voting right and when struggle for sex equality, which initiated at the beginning of 20th century and lasts even today, became more intensive. Women succeeded to ensure themselves women human rights such as decision about their pregnancy and abortion and participation in different social activities used to abandon for females. However, the battle goes on. In comparison to males, female workers get lower salary for the same job or the same position in company. Under public scrutiny, males are often hesitating to discriminate and violate women. But, researches show that lots of women are being violated in some way in their families.

The circle of violence

The violence often has its own "circle or course of events. The woman used to live in her primary family, where she has subconsciously learned that violence can be a way of life and she's not even aware of the fact that it represents violence, while, on the other hand, man has lived in family where women was unobserved and disrespected", explains Silvija Kranjc, the manager of Center for social work in Sombor and graduated social worker. This model of behavior and living is passed down "from generation to generation". Kranjc says that violence starts very subtly and perfidiously - when it happens the first time, abuser is, as a rule, apologizing and promising that he will never do it again. On the other hand, she is evoking good moments and old times, and the aim of all this is that the victim believes in whole story. The victim believes or hopes that violence will stop and she's tolerating it from 7 till 10 years before the moment she decides to and looks up for professional help. The level of tolerance is on fall due to persistent campaigns about violence against the women.

Self-confidenceless (Without self - confidence)

To the question what we consider as violence against the women, Kranjc answers that it represents "everything that woman puts in controlled position by the abuser and the situation when abuser is making decisions about her as she is a thing. Violence can be physical, psychical, any kind of manipulation and economical." Abusers are very often socially interesting and amiable personalities in their social environment, but, on the other side, they are private monsters. They are not recognizable at the first sight, that is to say, they are not "ugly, hairy, filthy and stinky" - they are just the opposite. That is exactly one of the reasons why woman finds it hard to report the abuser. She is scared that no one will believe her and subsequently help her. This is also stimulated by the fact that abuser is slowly destroying its victim self - confidence.

No matter how self-assured one is, when person they are living with is constantly saying bad words as well as persuading them that they are not good enough, obedient, good parents, after awhile they start to believe in that too. The culmination of abuse starts when he forbids her every social contact, even with relatives and friends and when he starts to convince her that she's the one who is guilty for the violence and that situation would be better if only she was better cook, gentler, quiet and stopped asking questions. This all aims at lowing victim's self esteem.

In the case of domestic violence, the first step the victim should take is reporting case to the center for social work or police. Kranjc says that victim is provided with professional help in order to accept the fact that she is the victim, to understand that she is not obligated to tolerate the violence and to strengthen her in persistence and willingness to stop the oppression. "One must be careful in contact with victim", continues Kranjc, "since this is very slippery area and the treatment itself is very delicate and it demands professionals since the victim is lost and in constant fear that no one would believe her."

Another safe house

Building another safe house in Sombor should cover the area of Vojvodina with others already existing and working. According to Kranjc, building of the house should be done in autumn 2009 with capacity of 22 places. Commune of Sombor will help regarding plot of ground, electricity, water and staff support and the rest is financed by B92 Foundation and Autonomous Province of Vojvodina.

The criteria for presence in House are still not clearly defined. In consideration are taken potentially jeopardized victims and more serious cases. The assumption is that criteria will be more distinctive when Hose begins with its work. The thing which is certain is that "the aim of safe house is protection of victim and all other institutions should cooperate and work synchronal. The House will never be overbooked, according to our evaluation, since its purpose is not to be fulfilled. There is also a system of collaboration between all safe houses, so if free places are lacking here, victims will be transferred to other house with accommodation available", says Kranjc.

According to her, a woman gets legal advices, consultations and psychical help in safe house and there is also necessity for contact with people from House before and after staying in it because of further help and constant support. A stay in House is relatively short since it supposed to be a short pause in woman's life. During her stay, woman still can be employed and her children are regularly going to school, but the support and help of social environment is expected. Safe house will be secured with alarm, video monitoring and night keeper, who will be assigned by the agreement with police, on the level of the county.

The court of law as the greatest obstacle

The cooperation between police and Center for social work at the district of town Sombor is good in last five years. Center for social work has its own mobile teams, active 24 hours and they are meant for urgent interventions. Still there is a problem and that would be the court system.

"Judges are not educated enough for working with victims of domestic violence. That is to say, the bully is denying that he has committed violence, and on the other side is a terrified victim, who is not obligated to witness in the process against the bully. However, the prosecutor is in position to carry on with prosecution although the victim is giving up, but I have never encountered on such a case in Sombor", says Silvija Kranjc.

The court of law, as the weakest part of this whole story, is generally lacking sensitivity and understanding. Further more, the court is not informing Center for social work about delivered verdicts, although they should. They were informed only in two cases. There is also a problem with verdict postponement. That is to say, when legal action is brought up, the court must set date for session within 7 days and the verdict must be in within two weeks, but in reality this lasts much longer. It could be said that this kind of conducting is only supporting abusers since law is not efficiently actualized. "State must have institutions much stronger than abuser since he is rough only in contact with weaker then he is" and government shows that this problem is not yet seriously taken. Looking at the fact that only six years ago domestic violence was not considered as crime, a huge step forward has been made, although there is lot more work to be done.

The aim is not to women lives or stays in safe house while abusers carelessly lie around in their homes. The law should be adequately enforced through delivering access barring even removing abuser from the home. The thing that could help a lot regarding safe house is volunteering based on sensitivity and women's solidarity. Based upon all of this, It seems that we are closer to the day when harassment of weaker then themselves, especially women, on this region will no longer be the right and the way of demonstrating manhood.


(Published: 10.03.2009.)